Thorns and Forbearance

Too often than not, people of different sexual orientation have a hard time figuring out and accepting themselves for who they are.  Unexpectedly, there is that one friend that stands by you in your journey of self-discovery. This is the ode to that friend, and to all the people who have the courage to be who they really are, and are proud of themselves.

‘Look at her man isn’t she gorgeous’

Well yeah she is but eh she is just another girl

‘How can you say that your soul’s treacherous
You don’t fancy do you, unicorns and a swirl?’

Well no, but wait why don’t I feel what he feels
After all, she is a pretty and a female
Huh? Maybe she isn’t for me, man but her heels
Am I too shaken, or too fluid or an utter fail?

I like girls, I protested – ‘haha I told you, you were a man’
That feeling of being accepted was overwhelming

‘Alright now dude here is a plan
Ask her out on a date and get a tingling feeling.’

I don’t want to, that isn’t me, you don’t understand
I like girls, like to be like them and wear a dress
“I expected a ridicule, a mock that was grand”

‘Tell me what it is, please don’t make me guess!’

How can I tell you, explain what I can’t fathom
I don’t understand what it is that I am feeling
Mostly I fantasize about dresses, so random
Sometimes it feels like I need some serious healing.

‘Don’t say that bud, don’t be in pain
I will do all I can to support you while you figure
I don’t want you to think of yourself as a stain
Neither do I want to be an annoying trigger’.

I felt reassured, maybe the first one I could trust
No way was I telling maa baba, at least not now

They think I am a waste, maybe treat me like dust

I need to be sure before I explain them the know how.

‘I don’t know much dude, but I know such
That no matter who is the real you inside
I care about your my friend, very much
I need you to be the real you, remove that fake hide’.

Took me some time, a lot of courage
To accept me for who I was, my real me
To forgive the haters, move on from this demurrage
And be the lady for me, that my friend needed me to be.

-Saurabh Kulkarni

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